Regret
by Insignificance
Summary: You all know her as the evil Queen Beryl, the one who wants to stop Sailor Moon and gain power for herself. But what is the true story behind the cold eyes of one such as her?


Regret  
By: Silver Star  
  
  
  
No one knows how I feel. Not even my queen, the great Metallica   
knows. My feelings, my emotions are all bottled up inside me.   
Have you ever wondered what it's like to have no one there to hold   
you when you are cold, no one to love you when you needed love   
desperately? I felt all that.   
Maybe I should introduce myself first and then tell you about me. My   
name is Beryl. The Evil Queen Beryl of Negaverse is what everybody   
called me. The cold hearted Queen Beryl who would do anything to gain   
power. Everyone despise me...but if you were in my position, if you went   
through what I went through, then you would probably be on my side.   
Did you know that my grandmother was actually Hecate, the goddess   
of Earth? It's true. My grandmother, Hecate, bore a girl named Crystaline,   
my mother. When my mother was about to become an immortal, she fell in   
love with a human, a mortal, and they got married before she could become   
a goddess. Even though she's not a goddess, she still has powers that were   
beyond human and so, she was the sorceress of Earth.   
My mother bore three girls. Me, the oldest daughter, Sheryl, the   
middle one, and Tara the youngest daughter. My father died when I was   
just 3 years old.  
It all started when I was only 8 years old. Sheryl was 6 and Tara was   
4. My mother suddenly caught a decease and wasn't able to get out of bed.   
Since I was the oldest, I helped my mother the most and so, I do almost all   
the work. I do the cooking while Sheryl and Tara ate them all without   
leaving me a crumb of food. I do all the laundry while Sheryl and Tara   
laughed and played outside in the mud. I couldn't blame them, though.   
They were still children, but still...  
Sheryl was okay since she was a little older than Tara. She sometimes   
helps me do the dishes, and dry them. She's a lot quieter and easier to   
handle than Tara and so naturally, I like Sheryl better.   
And then one day, my mother's illness became worse. She started to   
cough up great amount of blood. That day was the worst of my entire life. I   
was at the market when my mother passed her powers. She has given the   
power to Tara. Tara became Sailor Earth, the Scout for Earth, one of the   
protectors of Princess Serenity of the Moon.   
I saw it. I saw it all. I just came in the door when my mother gives   
the Transformation Pen to Tara. I saw the whole sequence of the   
transformation. I hate her. I hate Tara!  
Why did she give the pen, the power to Tara!? I was the one who did   
all the work. I took care of her and my two little sisters. I WAS THE ONE   
WHO SACRAFICED!! I wanted to scream. At exact midnight that night,   
my mother died.   
One week later, Sheryl and I watched as the Queen of the Moon,   
Queen Serenity, took Tara away. I knew what would happen. Tara   
would be trained into a Sailor Scout. She would turn into a beautiful girl   
and everybody would worship her. She and her princess friends would marry   
to powerful and rich princes from all the planets in the Silver Millenium and   
then lived happily ever after.   
But what about me?! What about Sheryl?! I would have to work hard   
while Tara sleeps in her silk bed. I would have to wear dirty brown dresses   
while Tara wore her silk white dresses. It's not fair! Life is never fair   
is what I realized after that. I never realized that my OWN powers are   
building inside me.  
Sheryl and I went on with our lives but I could tell, she's not the same   
Sheryl I know anymore. She seemed to be more distant. Some times, I   
thought she was avoiding me. Am I losing the only one that cared about   
me?  
11 years, we went through our daily routine everyday, eating the same   
thing, feeling the same empty feeling, working side by side but never talked.   
That's when I realized that I was a young woman and needed to work harder   
to get enough money to buy food.   
On the exact day of my 19th birthday, I became a Lady-in-Waiting at   
the palace. And that's the exact day that Sheryl disappeared.   
I had run home to tell Sheryl the good news but confronted the empty   
room. I looked everywhere but couldn't find her. I knew I couldn't stay   
home too long or I'll lose me newly found job so I waited until I packed up.   
I left a note saying that I had found a job at the palace and went on telling   
her that I'll be back the next day.   
But when the next day came, Sheryl was not home. The note I left on   
the dining room table was were I had left it. It hadn't been touched ever   
since yesterday when I left it.   
I got back to the palace and told what happened to the kind-hearted   
queen. She immediately sends notices around the kingdom to look for a girl   
with long red hair and green eyes. But it came to no avail. She was never   
found.   
I finally decided that I should use my power that I discovered in   
myself three years ago. I found a nice quiet place and tried to use my power   
to pinpoint where Sheryl might be.   
Then, the real trouble began. I had began glowing a dark red while   
concentrating and was found by a group of men around 20. They   
attacked me with rocks and sticks, thinking I was a witch.   
Then, the prince rescued me. Prince Endymion of the Earth was one   
of the most handsome men around my age. In fact, he was exactly my age,   
19. That's when I fell in love with him. Mainly because he was very   
handsome. But also because he cared about me and didn't think of me as a   
witch. Everybody in the kingdom thought that I was a witch except him. He's   
not afraid of me like everybody else in the palace was. The only reason that I   
wasn't destroyed or got kicked out of the palace was because of him.   
One year later, the Sailor Scouts, the protectors of the Moon Princess,   
came to Earth. That night at the ball, I saw Endymion dancing with the   
Moon Princess. He must have to dance with her was because his mother   
forced him into it, I had reasoned with myself. Then, I saw her, my sister,   
Tara, standing with a group of giggling girls. I walked quickly to her and   
hugged her. She just stared at me as if I grow two heads.   
I almost cried had I not found out that she has been mind-blocked   
by Queen Serenity. Her name was not Tara anymore. It's Terra now. She is   
Princess Terra of Earth, Sailor Earth, protector of the Moon Princess. Anger   
quickly filled me.   
I walked up to the place where Queen Serenity sat with Queen   
Gaia of Earth. I asked her why she mind-blocked Tara. For a moment, she   
just stared at me, confused. Then she realized that I was Tara's older sister.   
She told me coldly that she had to because Tara kept on crying about seeing   
her older sisters. Anger took over me and I slapped her right on the face.   
She stared at me, stunned at what I did. I had guessed that no one dared to   
do that to her.   
I didn't care anymore. I didn't care how much power she had. I only   
knew one thing: she destroyed my only family. I stormed out of the   
ballroom into the rose garden that was located just outside of the ballroom;   
tears trailed down my cheeks.   
The next most shocking thing was that Endymion was kissing that   
brat princess from the moon. Fury, hate, rage, jealousy, filled up inside me   
and I was about to explode. That's when I heard it, the hissing voice inside   
my mind, telling me that it could give me my dream only if I would join it. I   
didn't know why but I agreed.   
The next thing I knew, I was wearing a tight, dark-purple dress and   
was called as The Evil Queen of the Negaverse, Queen Beryl.   
I regret it. I regret what I did to the Moon Kingdom and Earth and the   
Silver Millenium. That's why I let myself get killed when the Sailor Scouts   
got to Negaverse. I wanted Metallica to be killed. I wanted to pay back for   
what she did to me a thousand years ago.  
She took over my body. My soul was separated from my body the   
very day that I had agreed on following Metallica.  
I had helped Sailor Moon when she used the crystal. I let my body's   
guard down, letting the pure power of love and light penetrate Metallica,   
destroying her. If it hadn't been for me, the Sailor Scouts could have died here.   
Earth could have turn to what might have been the remains of the Moon Kingdom.   
  
The pure power of love and light destroyed me  
Metallica has no more control over me  
My soul was back with my body  
I'm destroyed, not longer living  
But I died happy  
I'm free  
  
- Queen Beryl  
  
So...what do you think? Too weird? Never guessed that I could write   
something like this did you? I never really thought that Queen Beryl was   
evil. Tell me what you think at: bailuli@hotmail.com  
Visit my page at: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Palace/4709/index.html  
If you have a web page, you can try to win some of my awards! 


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